Utter tosh from the pen of Matt K

Now, I should point out that I found this on the Metro website so I can't vouch for it's accuracy. Quite possibly it has no accuracy whatsoever. Interesting if it's true though...

http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?Westlife:_Cowell_boasted_about_Jedward_before_X-Factor_series&in_article_id=765409&in_page_id=7

That skin cream advert with Matthew McConnagay in it is a hoot. It's clearly been done in the time-honoured tradition of shaving adverts dating back to the Seventies. "Grr! Manly! Yes it is! Honest! Buy this cosmetic product, it's very manly and not at all gay!! Women everywhere will fall at your feet!"

I mean, I'm as vain as the next man (and most of us are far more vain than we'd have you girls believe) and I'm all for looking after yourself.

But come on, advert makers. Do us males a favour and stop insulting our (admittedly variable) intelligence by assuming that we're all macho cretins who only respond to adverts containing sports, grunting, stubble, and ludicrous product names like Turbo Booster (for fuck's sake!)...

You could argue that it serves me right for watching it but hey, I like trash tv sometimes and X Factor is surely the best in that category. I love the pompousness of it, and the fact that those involved clearly believe that it is something other that a laughably cheesy talent show for deluded wannabes who would not, cannot, and will not make a career in singing out there in the real world. Ah, you say, but what about Leona Lewis, Will Young, and Girls Aloud? OK, but they're the exceptions that prove the rule. Ahem. Moving swiftly on...

All I want to say, basically, is that this particular season of X Factor has pissed me off more than any of the others, for a number of reasons. Shall I be anal and list them?? Why not eh...

1) The auditions suggested a much higher level of contestants than has actually materialised. Stacy Soloman is quite sweet but they clearly don't know what to do with her, Jamie Archer is mildly entertaining (for a pub rocker, which is absolutely what he is, despite the repeated protestations to the contrary) and I like Danyl but I can't picture the guy having an actual pop music career. If he can't even handle a bit of personal criticism on a talent show, what makes him think he could hack it as a pop star? He'd be in rehab before his first single hit the shelves. Somehow, all the apparent ability that was there in the auditions has been sifted down to a really quite dull set of contestants. Bah!

2) Cheryl Cole. God, what an irritating woman. I liked her at first, until it became apparent that she hasn't got a clue what she's on about. Her appalling musical ignorance is rivalled only by her obvious inability to dress herself. If you're in the public eye and that bloody clueless, then employ some kind of musical adviser and a stylist for heaven's sake!

3) Jedward. OK, I will admit to a sneaking enjoyment of some of their antics, but isn't the joke wearing just a little bit thin now? I mean, I quite admire their resilience - they get booed by half the audience most weeks and they just get on with it! And what happens last night? Simon Cowell actually passes up the opportunity to get rid of them! A man as shrewd as Cowell must have done that because he believes they're keeping the ratings up. Well, I for one say enough's enough. Time to get rid.

4) I just cannot believe who the public want to stay, and who they want to go. Lloyd, to stay?? Blank-eyed, baby-faced, can-hardly-sing-at-all-anyway?? Fuck's sake! Whereas Lucie, Miss Frank, and Rachel have all gone! Unfuckingbelievable.

5) There really is no-one to root for this year, no-one I can honestly say I would like to win it. Which pretty much takes all the fun out of a show like The X Factor.

I may even stop watching it, who knows. Or simply drink more when I am watching it.

Thanks for your comments - and yes, I did manage to have a nap, for like 45 minutes! Tremendous!

I had to go and wake Logan up for his tea, he was spark out.

(Yes, he is napping as I type this!!)

OK, so I've started working part-time this week so I can spend more time looking after Logan. It's brilliant, and I love it, but where the hell does this kid get all that energy from?? He's only 11 months old for heaven's sake!!

As I type this, Logan is upstairs having a nap, which I hope will be a big nap. Big enough so I can catch 5 minutes' sleep on the settee, in fact.

Yawn...!

I assume his P45 is in the post...

http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/6338139/16440695

OK, so I've been a fan of Motorhead for many moons now. But like a lot of people who call themselves Motorhead fans, it's mainly the early stuff I have in my collection. The last album I actually bought by them was "Overnight Sensation", and the last one I heard was "Sacrifice", and both of those albums came out years ago!

So, what I'm looking for is this - can someone recommend me some decent Motorhead albums from this decade?? I heard "Inferno" was supposed to be good...

Regular readers of my witterings will know my feelings on spoiled media brat Lily Allen.

Imagine my amazement, then, when I happened to see Mark Ronson's Oh My God video the other day. Ms Allen had been successfully transformed into a svelte cartoon vamp in the Jessica Rabbit vein! Unbelievable! Talk about the wonders of modern technology. Whatever next? Making Katie Price likeable?

The spell is of course completely broken when the cartoon Allen opens her mockney gob and speaks, but even so. An honourable late addition to the ranks of Sexy Cartoon Characters.

Although I'm all for the principle of free speech, and I totally disagreed with the idea that the (loathsome) BNP shouldn't have been allowed on Question Time at all, I must admit I was quite worried that Nick Griffin might end up appearing to be a semi-respectable politician (when he is clearly nothing of the sort).

I needn't have worried.

Bonnie Greer ran rings around everything he said (while classily showing the man a respect that he didn't deserve) but most merciless of all was the audience. They just would not let Griffin off the hook, on anything. Tremendous.

He ended up coming across as shifty, dishonest, ill-informed, and quite frankly downright weird. Which in my book is a good result.

I've been tinkering with a new design for the blog.

I don't really like it, but now the old one looks wrong as well.

The more I've done on the new design, the worse it looks. But now I can't go back to the old one either!

Fuck it. There's nothing else for it, I'll have to do some work.